“I can” is not enough

Another blog in the series “Big, Little Words”

Much has been written about the “perfect phrase”, the “trick” or a “hook” to create a habit as a personal goal. The promise is that achieving some goal will make you successful. But there is a catch. . .

Success and achievement both start from your “inside”. A common line is: “There are two kinds of people. Those who say, “they can” and those who say, “they can’t”. And both are correct. But life is not a simple binary choice. Whether you can or you can’t is something to be determined after you “try”. But then you have heard:

“TRY doesn’t count.” Just think, what is often said by the person who finishes last? “Well. I tried.” I really tried? I tried my best. No matter how hard you “tried”, if you finished last, you FINISHED LAST.

Therefore, success or achievement requires a starting commitment of “I MUST”. Anything less than “I must” becomes an excuse to not achieve success. From deep inside, you must realize that after musing about what you can do, or what you want to do, you MUST pick THAT to which you are committed to doing and then take action. Then accept the reality that you will either reach your “goal” or you will fail. Then you will need to decide whether to “try again” or leave “it” in the dust. When you can move on to your next “I MUST”, you will realize that failure is not always defeat.

The lesson: Do not start anything which you do not need to finish.

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Fantasy vs Reality for Adults

A lengthy read about a very sad case, but I only add this story (cited below) for a warning about YOUR media consumption. Hate and fear produce anxiety. When people are angry, frightened or worried – they seem to gravitate to the “NEWS”. ??

In their disturbed mental state, people forget to “think critically”. They fail to apply reason, logic or comparison to the information they receive. They just let the “news” go in one ear and then bounce around in an apparently empty head. Even worse, the information which people accept as “true” is mostly “paid advertising” with the primary purpose of increased “profit” for somebody – be it Big Pharma, Big Agriculture, or some Politician and their friends.

When an organization becomes a “Party of Hate” – such as the Democrats with their #resist bs and then you add anti-American revolutionaries espousing Alinsky tactics, such as BLM or Antifa or public sector unions, MEDIA jumps on the opportunity for sensationalism to gain “market share” of the eyeballs – for the purpose of increasing advertising revenues. Unions want more dues from members; BLM and Antifa want more “free stuff” from the government.

The result is that public discourse becomes a myriad of psychoses! Reality becomes confused with fantasy. So, for the two girls in the Slender Man case, fantasy turned into a harsh reality. The real tragedy happens when adults fail to realize that they have allowed their “virtual existence” to become their reality. Life is not a game; there is no dress rehearsal.

As you read the following story, think about what you consider to be true and accurate. Whom do you “believe”? More importantly, why do you believe those whom you chose to believe? Keep in mind that the highest salaries paid to psychologists, are paid by advertising agencies. Folks, the world is “playing with your mind.”

The story: http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2015/08/slender-man-stabbing.html

 

It can be too late!

Can a flower ever be lonely?

Regrets can weigh heavy on the heart that forgot to say, “I love you.” However, true inspiration comes from knowing that “I love you”, is not only said, but felt.

Two people from very different worlds have tried to communicate the feeling.

How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)
Elizabeth Barrett Browning, 1806 – 1861

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Now it is your turn. Don’t wait until it is too late; that time will come, perhaps when you least expect it.

My Favorite Mother-in-Law

Bertha

This morning some private messages inspired me to share some memories of my favorite mother-in-law.

After living alone for some time as a widow, Bertha came to live with our family.  What a blessing that was.  The first time she attended church with us, I introduced her as my favorite mother-in-law.  Well, after church, not knowing what else to say, several widows started their conversation with, “We didn’t know Ken had been married before.”

To each, Bertha replied, “Ken wasn’t married before; maybe that’s why I’m still his favorite mother-in-law.”  So every conversation started with a smile.

In one of our conversations about how she handled her grief, she shared one of her many valuable “life lessons.”  She shared, “Al was a wonderful husband.  I will always miss him and my heart will always hurt.  But that’s on the inside.  The first time I went to church alone, I didn’t know where to sit.  I did notice that a group of widows seemed to be sitting together, laughing and talking.  I also noticed some widows who sat alone.  They seemed sad; they didn’t really talk to anyone and they weren’t smiling.

“I made the decision that I would be part of the group that was laughing and smiling, enjoying being together.  I knew that to be part of that group, I had to also be smiling and talking.  So on the outside, people see me smiling and they think that I am happy and they want to be around me.  Oh, yes, I still hurt on the inside, but if that is what I show to others, they won’t want to be around me.”

Bertha started “quilting clubs” and sent quilts all over the world.  She had friends wherever she went.  At church socials, Bertha would be seen talking to the people that no one else wanted to talk with.

A smile of unconditional love.

A smile of unconditional love.

Bertha was the first of her siblings to be born in the State of Oklahoma.  Her older siblings had been born in the Oklahoma Territory.  In 1933, she married a Kansas wheat farmer –in the middle of the Great Depression and the Dust Bowl!  I am so thankful that I was given time with my favorite mother-in-law to see what was in her heart through troubled times and good.  I hope that everyone who reads this can find a relationship of unconditional love like that which existed between me and my favorite mother-in-law.